When birth or the memory of birth is difficult ..

One of the reasons that I became a doula was to support women in difficult situations.  Many people assume that my work is primarily with women who plan to have their babies at home or plan to have a physiological, low intervention birth – that is not the case, most of my clients have their babies in hospital and many involve interventions (though having a doula does decrease the chance of interventions if that is an objective!)

Part of my doula journey was about understanding that birth can be complicated, birth can be messy and birth can be difficult.  All too often, we hear that ‘all that matters is that we have a healthy baby’… and while that slightly glib, throw away comment, might remind us to focus on the positives, we are complex creatures and we should put our feelings in the frame and give them space and time. 

Birth Debrief. 

Sometimes that can be a debrief with someone who attended your birth, sometimes a debrief with someone completely unconnected with your birth can also be useful.  In my experience, a debrief can help you to understand how your birth progressed.  When I listen to birth stories, the intention is not to fix, to correct your perception of what happened, to tell you that what you experienced was X, Y or Z – it is simply to listen.  Only you know how you felt and how you feel at the moment of retelling. 

Full Body Wrapping

I love to offer the beautiful practice of full body wrapping, often referred to as closing the bones or ‘serrage du basin’, in French.  This is a gentle practice that uses scarves to massage, rock, release tension from the body, without the need to be directly touched by hands, but instead offering a sensation of being completely held.  For those women who have wrapped in pregnancy and practiced scarf or rebozo techniques to release pregnancy discomfort, this is familiar. This postnatal process invites you to reconnect with your own body, to put you at the centre and to return to yourself.  It provides a safe space to rest, for your body to let go, to acknowledge the physical and emotional transformation that has taken place and to honour your emotions.  I have shared this practice with women in many different moments of their life, there is no time limit, no limit on the number of times you can do this and no prescribed formula for how it is given or received – it can be as simple as a part of a post-natal visit or it can be shared as a deeper connection between your body and your mind.   Since I trained in this almost 5 years ago, I have become passionate about the physical and emotional benefits of wrapping and simply love to share this. 

Words from a client:

Deirdre’s full body wrapping treatment brought peace and rest to my mind, heart and body. Through the wrapping of my body and her intuitive guidance, she released a lot of my pain and stress. I can only recommend this highly soothing experience with Deirdre.

3 Step Rewind

If you feel that the memory of your birth is causing you distress, anxiety, or other emotions that you feel are more intense than you would hope for, there is a process that is based in the principles of neuro linguistic programming that can help.  It is called the 3 step rewind process.  It gives you time to practice relaxation, much like the first steps of hypnobirthing, then you are invited to visualise what will be good or different for you, when the memory no longer affects you in the way it does now.  Then using some neuro linguistic tools, you are guided through a process that help you to get from where you are now, to where you would like to be, in relation to the memory of your birth.  I have supported many clients through this process.

In the words of one of my clients:

'The first session was just generally relaxing. I really felt a sense of security. being able to unwind and just be with the moment. The second session was transformative, I really could visualise everything you were leading me to remember, I was able to box it all up and place it in ‘storage’ in my brain, not necessary to be drawn upon anymore.. Ever sense have felt a really strong sense of calm'

I have holistic approach to all of my work – I am led by you, we take things step by step, if other approaches, support, techniques, suggestions, advice, seem appropriate, I include them all. When you book a session with me – you get as much or as little of my experience, tools and skills as feels right.